She Wouldn't Be Gone
by SVUfanatic4
Summary: If I would have loved her this much all along, maybe she wouldn't be gone. One shot maybe two shot?


She couldn't take it anymore, she was so tired of dealing with the same issues over and over. His issues. She always tryed to get him to talk to her, but he never would. He deciced he would just bottle everything up and not care about anyone. Not even the women he loved. She knew he loved her, there was no doubt in her mind that he did. She just couldn't take him having no emotions about anything. There were so many times she wished she could open up and talk to him, but how could she do that if he wouldn't even open up and talk to her about how he felt.

The same thought kept running through her mind, '_You don't know what you've got till its gone.' _Maybe that was true. And she prayed to god that it was, because she had finally made up her mind. Olivia Stabler was leaving her husband, Elliot Stabler. _'I'm not going to leave him forever.' _She thought to her self as she packed her things. Just long enough for him to come to his senses. Finally having packed up all of her clothes and personal belongings into 4 large suit cases she hailed a cab, threw her things into the car and gave the driver the adress of her best friends house. Casey Novak

**SVUSVUSVU**

He walked into their very quiet and life less apartment. '_That's odd.'_ He thought to him self. Normally she would fall asleep watching tv on the couch, or at least leave the kitchen light on for him, something! He decided he would go check their bedroom. Again he turned up empty handed. Only something was different in there, not just that she wasn't there, but neither were any of her things. Elliot felt his heart sink. He knew she was gone.

"NO, NO, NO! This can't be happening."

He yelled into the empty appartment. He grabed his phone from his pocket and dialed her number, it went straight to voicemail. He kept calling again and again, but still got the same result. Nothing.

Elliot sat on the bed, _their_ bed. The bed that they had just shared the night before. The bed they had made love in countless times, the bed that smelled like her, the bed that held so many memories. He put his head in his hands and began to sob. Elliot was never a man to cry, especially over a woman. He thought that it made him weak, and Elliot Stabler was not weak. So he quickly wiped away his tears and stood up. He was going to find her and make this right. No matter what it took.

He reached for his phone again and this time dialed their captains number. Cragen was like a father to Olivia. He had to know where she was.

"Captain! Do you know where Liv is?"

There was a slight hesiation in his voice. Of course he knew where she was, she had called him right when she got to Casey's and told him everything that was going on, and whatever he did, not to tell Elliot where she was. She was like a daughter to him, and he would do anything for her. Even if that meant lying.

"No I don't. Sorry El."

Elliot sighed in frustration.

"It's ok, but if you hear from her please, let me know."

"Ok, I will."

He then hung up and dialed another number.

"Hello."

"Hey Case, it's Elliot. Have you seen or heard from Olivia?"

Casey looked beside her at her best friend crying on her couch over this man, who came to her house that evening and asked if she could stay with her for a little while. Who said she needed a break, away form him.

"No, can't say I have. Sorry."

Elliot was getting really pissed off now. Of they've seen her they ain't saying.

"K. Well if you do please let me know."

He didn't even give her a chance to respond before he hung up. He knew he had to find her, but if she wasn't at work and she wasn't at Casey's, where else could she be? That's when he heard his phone beep from a text message. He quickly looked at his phone and saw it was from her. Without hesitation he clicked on the message and began to read it.

_El, _

_You need to know that I'm ok and please don't worry about me. I can't tell you where I am but I'm fine. I just need a little time away from you to think. When I'm ready to talk, I'll let you know. Please use this time to do some thinking of your own. _

_Liv. _

He couldn't believe that was all she said. _I'm fine. _What about him? He wasn't fine, and what was there to think about? She didn't even say I love you. He hit reply and began to type his response.

_Liv, _

_I love you so much! Please come home! Or at least call me, please! I don't know what I did, but please come home! I love you too much to loose you. Love you with all my heart. _

_El. _

He hit send and waited for her reply. Elliot wasn't sure how much time had passed by wating for the beep from his phone that never came. Had it been seconds, minutes, hours? He didn't know but it felt like days.

Now he didn't care if he had tears running down his face. If crying over the women he loved made him weak, then he must be the weakest man alive. Now he climbed onto the bed, on _her_ side. He put the pillow to his face and savoured the smell that was her. _What did I do to make her leave? What didn't I do to make her stay?_ Elliot asked him self. He started to think, just like she told him to do.

_She always told me that if I didn't change, and start caring, she was leaving. I just never believed she would ever really walk out. God I believe her now._

_White roses, she loved those. Maybe every once in a while I should have bought her some, just because I loved her. Maybe I should have taken her to the water, to sit and watch the sunset. She seceretly loved to watch it turn all different colours and see it dip below the water. If I would have done little things like that for her, instead of being so fucking slefish, maybe she wouldn't be gone! _

"FUCK!"

He jumped out of the bed face red with anger. Anger towards him self for not caring. He walked over to the wall and began to punch it with all his might over and over again. Leaving the wall dented with his fist marks. "AAAHHH!" He yelped out in pain, frustration and anger.

_Those days when we came home after a tough case and she cryed her self to sleep thinking about those little kids. I should have held her, comforted her. I could hvae joked to make her laugh. But no, I didn't, cause I'm a selfish bastard who doesn't care! _

He fell onto the floor crying. Then he began to sob.

_If I would have loved her as much as I do right now, maybe she wouldn't be gone._


End file.
